May 2009
16 posts
10 tags
Would you accept $10M if it meant physically aging...
IT’S GUEST BLOGGER FRIDAY! TODAY’S QUESTION WILL BE ANSWERED BY MAURA JOHNSTON, THE EDITOR OF IDOLATOR (WHICH I’M PRETTY SURE ALMOST NEARLY EVERYONE READS). SHE *JUST* ENTERED HER MID-30s (LIKE YESTERDAY, IN FACT. SEND A BIRTHDAY GREETING TO HER IF YOU HAVE A MOMENT), SO QUESTIONS LIKE THIS LOOM EVEN LARGER THAN THEY MIGHT HAVE WHEN SHE WAS FIRST GALLIVANTING AROUND THE WEB. ALAS, NONE OF US...
10 tags
Would you swim across a narrow river containing...
At first I was like, “Um…my scientific research leads me to conclude that swimming with piranhas will lead to dying from a million little piranha bites and is therefore not good for my health and so I say no to Death by Piranha.” Then I realized that what I’d misremembered as ”scientific research” was actually that one time when I rented this shit-tastic movie...
13 tags
Would you attempt to smuggle a pound of marijuana...
Can I be honest? Cool, thanks: I would not do well in jail. I know that’s not really an uncommon sentiment but I want go on record as stating, unequivocally, that I am particularly ill-suited for survival in the big house. I have a funny (and not ha, ha, either) feeling that my rapier wit and biting sarcasm would be rewarded with rapier…um, rape and…biting. And my subtle,...
12 tags
Would you agree to have all your teeth permanently...
IT’S GUEST BLOGGER FRIDAY! TODAY’S QUESTION WILL BE ANSWERED BY SWINGIN’ BACHLORETTE LEAH FRIEDMAN, A PART-TIME SHUT-IN/PART-TIME HAND MODEL (JUST KIDDING. ABOUT THE PART-TIME SHUT-IN THING.) WHO RESIDES IN CENTER CITY, PHILADELPHIA. AFTER GIVING UP ON WRITING RECAPS OF FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS AND THE TUDORS FOR TVGUIDE.COM, SHE BEGAN HER PERSONAL BLOG, VIN. POÉSIE. VERTU., WHICH IS NOTABLE FOR...
17 tags
Would you be willing to undergo a course of...
Pretty much everything I know about electroshock therapy I learned by watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest — and let me tell you: EST did not do good things for Jack Nicholson in that movie. I watched the film a lot as a kid (they used to show it on cable all the time), and it taught me that if you are crazy, EST will make you even crazier. Also, if you are not crazy, EST will...
11 tags
Would you have phone sex with Bill O'Reilly?
You know what’s sexy about Bill O’Reilly? Um…nothing. Nothing at all. But at least with Bill, you’d know what to expect with this dare. I think I’d say no to this if it involved some other member of the far right out of fear of the sexual curveballs they’d throw in the midst of a phone sex conversation. An awful lot of the Moral Majority live public lives of...
13 tags
Would you eat the same foods every single meal,...
If you stop and think about, this isn’t really a dare for a lot of people. It’s a lifestyle. I mean, think about the number of people in the U.S. who literally go to McDonald’s for every meal. Or who subsist on bologna sandwiches and cereal. I’ve been through periods where all I’ve eaten for long stretches is Tex Mex, which means every meal was essentially some...
18 tags
Would you agree to meet the President knowing that...
IT’S GUEST BLOGGER FRIDAY! TODAY’S QUESTION WILL BE ANSWERED BY KID MILLIONS OF ONEIDA, STALWARTS OF THE NEW YORK MUSIC SCENE AND ONE OF YOUR (AND MY) FAVORITE BANDS. HE — ALONG WITH THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE BAND — ALSO RUNS BRAH RECORDS, WHICH HAS THIS AWESOME STATEMENT ON ITS SITE: We put out music by people who are not trendy, who aren’t going to be the next big thing and...
14 tags
Would you have a chip painlessly implanted that...
I’m, unfortunately, crazy busy today, so here’s a favorite from the vaults:
I love me some Unknown Pleasures and some Substance (although, I’ve got to be honest: Permanent really tests my patience for repackaging and preys on the nerdy need to have every version of every song; and I haven’t listened to Closer as much as I maybe should have, depending on who you ask (because a fair...
18 tags
Would you picket a soldier's funeral with the...
In case you’re unfamiliar, a little introduction to Fred Phelps and his brood of fellow crazy as fuck followers:
Pastor Phelps and his family (who run the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas) have decided the answer to the question ”What Would Jesus Do?” is issue statements like, ”God Hates Fags,” “Thank God for Dead Soldiers,” “America Is...
12 tags
Would you grope a stranger on a crowded subway?
Don’t get me wrong. I have some amazing, wonderful guy friends who I love to bits and basically think of as women friends with penises (wait…that didn’t come out right…). What I mean to say is, there are plenty of totally awesome dudes who wouldn’t so much as think of using the opportunity provided by a packed subway for a cheap thrill. But let’s be honest,...
12 tags
Would you destroy or vandalize an iconic work of...
Do you know what I love about this game? The fact that The Rules dictate that you won’t be arrested for all the bad shit you agree to do. I’m quite fond of that rule, especially when I’m saying yes to a question like this. And I want to be clear on this: I am, indeed, saying yes to this question. Although I enjoy art quite a little bit, it’s further down on my List of...
6 tags
Would you eat a semen-filled croissant?...
IT’S GUEST BLOGGER FRIDAY! TODAY’S QUESTION WILL BE ANSWERED BY TIM Q. TIM WORKS FOR A WELL-KNOWN ONLINE COMPANY WHICH SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS, SINCE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT EATING CUM-FILLED CROISSANTS AND STUFF. IN ADDITION TO BEING A CORPORATE MOTHERFUCKER, HE’S A WRITER AND MUSICIAN (IN THE BANDS TOO MUCH JOY AND WONDERLICK — WHICH HAS A NEW RECORD COMING OUT IN JULY...
13 tags
Would you sabotage a batch of birth control pills...
You know what’s kind of (okay, really) fucked up? The fact that I was ready to say yes to this one (I’ve had a super shitty work week. That money would be my ticket out). Because after a lot of self-reflection and careful, thoughtful, labored consideration of the potential human cost of this dare, the conclusion I came to was “fuck all y’all” (I’m...
6 tags
Would you take a job with a suicide hotline for a...
I think this could be a pretty brilliant premise for a black comedy (maybe something involving Ricky Gervais or Will Arnett? Oh — and can we maybe squeeze Amy Sedaris in there, too, thank you please very much?) but in real life, wouldn’t be so funny. In fact, I’m going to have to say no to this (the dare, not the guaranteed fucking hilarious comedy I describe above) because it...
6 tags
Would you have a scientific procedure that makes...
IT’S GUEST BLOGGER FRIDAY! TODAY’S QUESTION WILL BE ANSWERED BY MY FRIEND MATTHEW PERPETUA, WHO HAS THE DISTINCTION OF BEING THE AUTHOR OF FLUXBLOG, THE VERY FIRST MP3 BLOG (YOU READ THAT RIGHT). HE ALSO WRITES FOR NEW YORK MAGAZINE, PITCHFORK, SPIN AND THE ASSOCIATED PRESS. BASICALLY, HE SPENDS HIS TIME MAKING THE REST OF US LOOK LAZY.
ALSO, PROPS TO MATTHEW FOR COMING UP WITH HIS OWN QUESTION...