This is kind of a double whammy because 1) you have to swallow snot, which is basically liquid boogers (not to get all scientific on you) and 2) you have to eat swine flu, which, you know, can kill you. Plus, I just think there’s something extra weird about having a flu that pigs normally get; I can’t help but see swine flu carriers as pigs among men. Just a hang-up I have, I guess. Anywho, even with all that to dissuade me, I’m going to say yes to this. I know — I’m as disappointed in myself as you are. But think about it: Your odds of a quick recovery are pretty fucking phenomenal if you’re an American that gets medical treatment quickly, which I am and which I’d most certainly do. Plus, I almost feel like doing this dare just to spite all the bullshit hysteria that happens every time one of these new viruses becomes en vogue. I mean, first everyone just loved freaking out about West Nile virus and then when that fell out of fashion, there was SARS and then avian flu got its own show and now the Next Big Thing is swine flu. Our culture is so disposable that even our diseases are trendy, for fuck’s sake. Really, the whole process has become not unlike watching the rise and fall of some indie band, except more people briefly care about what happens with these diseases. (It’s true! In fact, I can correlate which band rose and fell in sync with which disease: West Nile Virus = Radio 4; SARS = Hot Hot Heat; Avian flu = Black Kids; Swine Flu = Wavves (I’m making a prediction on this one)). So that’s where I stand. A firm yes on this one!