IT’S GUEST BLOGGER FRIDAY! TODAY’S QUESTION WILL BE ANSWERED BY MY FRIEND MATTHEW PERPETUA, WHO HAS THE DISTINCTION OF BEING THE AUTHOR OF FLUXBLOG, THE VERY FIRST MP3 BLOG (YOU READ THAT RIGHT). HE ALSO WRITES FOR NEW YORK MAGAZINE, PITCHFORK, SPIN AND THE ASSOCIATED PRESS. BASICALLY, HE SPENDS HIS TIME MAKING THE REST OF US LOOK LAZY.

ALSO, PROPS TO MATTHEW FOR COMING UP WITH HIS OWN QUESTION — AND A PRETTY INCREDIBLE ONE AT THAT.

I would assume that this procedure is permanent, but if you’re playing
at home, you can feel free to assume that at some point, maybe a year
later, the scientists could possibly reverse your situation. I’m
inclined to think that if doctors snip out your love wiring, it’s gone
for good. Basically, if you have this procedure, you cannot feel love.
You can be loved, sure, but the fondest feelings you could have in any
sort of relationship would amount to benign indifference. Presumably,
you would still be able to appreciate most of your enthusiasms —
music and art, food and sports, all still the same, though perhaps
muted in a way. You’d still have a sex drive too. You just can’t love
anyone, not even your parents. If you’re in a long term relationship,
your partner ought to bail out immediately. If you’ve got kids, well,
they might end up having some serious issues down the line.

There are pros and cons to this situation. If you are single and
unlucky in love, this is an ideal way to just give up entirely. You
will be spared the stinging pain of unrequited love for the remainder
of your life, and the combination of an intact libido and a coldness
toward other people could make you very sexually prolific,
particularly if you’ve always felt held back by wanting to have (at
the very least!) affectionate feelings for your sex partners. An
absence of love in one’s heart could make them ruthless across the
board, which could translate into making a hell of a lot more than a
measly one million dollars. It might not be all that bad, and maybe
after a while you would just forget about love entirely, and your
other emotions would become more refined, kinda like how if you lose
your vision, you gain super-precise sonar hearing. (That’s not just
Daredevil, right?) Maybe life is actually better without love!

Wait, no, of course it’s not. It is impossible for me to imagine a
life without love. Familial love, platonic love, romantic love,
friendship — these are the things that make life worthwhile. It’s not
enough to be loved. You’ve got to care, you’ve got to feel something
for other people. It’s hard to say what the true end result of this
procedure would be — maybe it’s more like severe autism, perhaps
you’d just become something of a sociopath — but both are totally
awful, so why invite it? Even if love can be painful and confusing,
it’s mostly pretty awesome. The Beatles were exactly right about this:
All you need is love. Love is all you need.

- Matthew P.

I tend to associate the inability to love with psychopaths; couple that deficiency with a lack of empathy and serious impulse control issues and you’ve got your classic serial killer. But I did consider the impermanent version of this dare for a bit, and concluded it’s no good either. I have a gut feeling that a year of being unable to love would irreparably damage the most important relationships in your life, and there’s just no coming back from that. Plus, the residual emotional and psychological effects of essentially being a Vulcan for even a brief period cannot be good. To put it plainly, you’d emerge from the dare lonely and fucked up. So, no to this one. My heart will go on!

- Kali