Okay, so, yeah, this is mostly just an excuse to talk about and post a picture of Paul Karason, who is basically some sort of a mutant, gigantic Papa Smurf. At some point in the mid-’90s, Paul started drinking a lot of colloidal silver — because some hippie told him it cures dermatitis or something — which means he basically had a daily cocktail made mostly of silver dust (there’s more to it than that but what am I a fucking scientist? That’s what the Internet is for, if you’re so interested.) Anyway, he eventually started turning blue and wouldn’t you know it, just like every other bizarre thing I’ve dreamed up or heard about on a talk show, there’s a whole movement of these people out there who are doing things that turn them blue, because there’s a name for this, and it’s argyria. Anyway, Paul had to leave Oregon for California, because the racism he was experiencing got so bad (1) no, I didn’t make that up and 2) yes, that might be my favorite part of the story), but he still drinks colloidal silver, because he thinks it was the applying it to his face that turned him blue, not the ingesting it right into his bloodstream. Oh, I know. That makes total sense to me, too.

So…that’s gonna have to be a no for me. Just…no. Also, congratulations to me for not squeezing a joke about the Blue Man Group in here anywhere. Gold star!