I’m so not into this shit that saying “I’m not into this shit” doesn’t really give you any insight into how for reals not I am. Into it, I mean. Okay, so, I know the ’90s were this period when people got it into their heads that piercings were awesome and grunge and The Enigma and Slacker and flannel-shirts-over-long-johns, but when I see piercings and the things they have wrought, like horn implants, these days I think they’re not so much “rebellious” and “defiant” as they are ”boring even my nana” and “putting me to sleep.” I guess if you want to have a career with Jim Rose’s circus (also super ’90s) then by all means, have at it — dream big! — but fuck a lifetime of horns on my head. No horns! NO HORNS!