IT’S GUEST BLOGGER FRIDAY! TODAY’S QUESTION WILL BE ANSWERED BY JAYSON GREENE. JAYSON IS AN EDITOR AT eMUSIC AND WRITES ABOUT MUSIC FOR PITCHFORK AND A FEW OTHER PLACES. OH — AND HE’S APPARENTLY OKAY WITH EATING PEOPLE FOR MONEY. WHO KNEW?

So my gut-level reaction, upon first reading this question, was a pretty immediate “psychological no-no.” It seemed (initially) like one of those “a bridge too far” experiences for me: Once I did this, I’d be a millionaire, but I’d be, well, a millionaire cannibal. And while I’m certain that, at some point in human history, a bored member of the superrich elite has ordered someone unimportant killed and cooked for their amusement, saying “yes” to this would still put me in a fairly exclusive club mostly populated by serial killers.

But, as I kept thinking about it, I slowly realized the answer was “yes.” I mean, the question makes pretty clear that I don’t actually have to KILL anyone. I don’t have to, say, slowly win the trust of a teenage runaway as I lure him into my home and start innocently dicing onions. In a way, this realization simplified the question for me and made it pretty much no different from eating any other kind of meat: as long as I don’t have to do the dirty work of killing it, I’m down. Bring it on. I mean, not to get all “I raise chickens in the back of my Brooklyn brownstone” on you, but how different is this — for ME, the diner, anyway — from ordering veal or foie gras or suckling pig in a restaurant and eating whatever deliciousness comes out without a twinge of conscience?

The only question left for me is preparation: I imagine it would be tough and would require extra care, so let’s slow-cook it, until it’s “falling off the bone.” A heavy base of onions and carrots and celery would make it earthy and comforting, like a good pot roast. Let’s throw some mushrooms in there, some white wine and rosemary. Oh man, this is starting to sound good. Yes to this.

- Jayson G.

I agree with Jayson’s reasoning, and I’d like to think I’d do this, and maybe if you hit me up on the right day I would, but I’m just not feeling this one today. For starters, just the thought is making me a *little* nauseous. And while Time magazine reports that “human flesh, when the source is not known, is tender and sweet,” and that crazy German guy who ate that other guy and filmed it (remember him?) says that it “tastes like pork, a little bit more bitter, stronger…[it] tastes quite good,” and Albert Fish (who was basically the boogeyman except 1000x worse) said “I never ate any roast turkey that tasted half as good as” butt cheeks (He really said that. What a fucking nutter, right? ), I’m going no for now. Just not into the whole cannibalism thing at this juncture.

- Kali