For questions involving embarrassing or offensive changes to your person, you’re forever stuck with whatever monstrous affliction is specified by the dare unless a time frame is given.

For questions that do specify a time frame, don’t get smart and ask if you can hide out in your house until it’s over, or cover it up with clothing, or camouflage it with makeup. That would make you a HUGE chump. To satisfy a dare, you’ll have to live your life as you always do, except with a fully-functional penis where your nose used to be or whatever disgusting thing you’ve agreed to do for a measly million bucks, Mssr. Greedy Pants.

Unless the question indicates otherwise, you will not face prosecution or punishment for any of the evil deeds contained herein – although, in some cases, you may face intense disdain (and maybe a sound beating) from your peers, and even your countrymen. In most cases, though, your own soiled conscience is all you have to answer to, you selfish s.o.b.

Most questions are unisex, but in some instances male and female versions of questions are asked (we’re truly equal opportunity offenders here at LWAP HQ).

And listen: I know $1M isn’t a lot of money (I live in NYC, dude. That shit won’t even get you a decent apartment here). If a question calls for it, feel free to up the ante to $2M or $3M or whatever the hell you want. I’ve already made the harder/more disgusting/most morally reprehensible acts pricier in value, but you can toy with the numbers, too. Just don’t offer massive payouts for stuff that really isn’t all that hard. No one deserves $10M just for eating Peeps until he throws up, for example.

The questions are what they are. There are no loopholes or hidden meanings. All you have to do is answer yes or no. The only thing that asking questions like, “But what if it’s a leap year?” will do is annoy people and make you seem unlikable.

Along the same lines: This is screamingly, painfully obvious, but the game is all about the willing suspension of disbelief. DURR. Don’t bother being all, “But that’s impossible!” or “See, now, there’s no way you could get away with that!” If you’re that literal-minded, Poindexter, you should probably stop reading right…about…HERE.