Take my toes — please! (Pauses to wait for laughter to die down). No, but, seriously folks, this question is like asking, Would you sell a toe for $1M? And the answer is hell to the yes I would. It’s nice that you get to pick the toe (I’ll go for the pinky, for aesthetic reasons; it seems like you could lose that one without turning your foot into a total freakshow), but even if I didn’t get to choose, I’d still enthusiastically answer yes to this dare. Basically, you can have toes removed and walk just fine, including the big toe, although with that one, you pretty much wipe out future 100-meter dash victories. Which, really, is just fine with me, since the last time I ran anywhere was under extreme duress from a P.E. teacher whose death I would pray for every night. And for the record, there are women (I’m guessing the kind who might say stupid shit like, “I’m a Samantha. My best friend is a Miranda.”) who actually pay to have this done to themselves so they can wear overpriced shoes by sadists masquerading as designers. Suckers. My toes will only be chopped off in order to be sold to the highest bidder. Yes to nine toes, yes to $1,000,000.
